Non-Jews are for practice
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
