i jhust puked up my retainher.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
