You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
