I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
