why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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