let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
