I'm jealous of your bromance
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
