will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
