Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
