Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
