Do you still have your period?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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