last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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