I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
