I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
