i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
