Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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