I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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