the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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