Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
