What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
