he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Randomize
