Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My life is pants optional.
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