i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
