i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
