Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
