We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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