last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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