i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
