Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize