What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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