It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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