Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
