Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
