Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
