Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
