she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
