what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
