i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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