oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
