....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
