well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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