I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
