am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
