How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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