I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
