He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
