My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So much Jack, so little girl.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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