awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
