Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
