They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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