I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
