this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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