Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
