You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
