hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I need moral support for this bender
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
