come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
