respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
