maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
