I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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