you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
